...Going Crazy (doing Camp NaNoWriMo!)

Yes, folks, I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo - the any-time version of the fast-paced novelling insanity called NaNoWriMo! And it's starting tomorrow, July 1st!

For those who don't know, it's basically this: you write 50,000 words in 30 days. It's hard. But it's terribly fun. The great thing about it that you don't have to write anything great. In fact, you can pretty much write shit. It's quantity over quality, and it's great for making you write without thinking of editing every little thing.

I did NaNoWriMo last year (and have the shiny badges to prove it), and enjoyed myself immensely. The novel that I ended up with was awful - the plot had holes big enough to fall through, and the storyline wasn't nearly as compelling as it felt when I was shredding away at my keyboard.

But I loved my main characters. I love them so much, I'm rewriting the crappy novel in a much better version. It'll still have the same heart, I hope - because it was written so fast and without much pre-thought and as-you-go editing, it was a very honest, if badly written, novel.

Ah,  but I'm plunging sanity down the drain, and heading off to Camp tomorrow.

I'm so excited. I've already starting stashing lollies in my travel bag!!

This is Shi, about to set off on an adventure!

PS. I haven't figured it out yet, but if there is a way to be "buddies" like on the normal NaNo site, and you need some competition to keep you writing - let me know! We can be writing buddies, have word-wars, and try to inspire each other :D It's about time that writing stopped being a solitary pursuit, anyway~

... Recommending: Diversity and Tolerance in the Goth Community

I've been a little under the weather recently, as well as being overwhelmed with school. Honestly, how they expect us to remember all the information we get for every single class is a mystery. Not to mention, many teachers seem to be of the opinion that we only take one class - theirs. This, of course, leaves us enough time to do all the work set. Unfortunately, we take more than one class, so it can be difficult to manage the workload.



Anyway, (moving on from ranting), I discovered this page on one of my favourite Goth blogs, and decided it needed to be screamed shared with the world. Well, cyberspace, and the tiny little part of it under my command. In any case, it's about the wonderful diversity and tolerance in the Goth community - the real Goth community - and it is so downright honest that I just had to share it.

Enjoy! And feel free to peruse the site - there are many gems on there for anyone interested in any type of Goth.

This is Shi, drinking tea and reading.

... on inspiration for writers

Okay, so my last post was a little crazy depressing. This one is going to be much more positive, because that post gave me some things to think about. I was bitching about my story, how hard it was and how much difficulty I was having, and I asked the question: do all writers/authors have these problems.

Well, these quotes make me think 'yes':

• "There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith
• "The wastebasket is a writer's best friend." Isaac Bashevis Singer
• "Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." Gene Fowler
• "Every writer I know has trouble writing." Joseph Heller
• "Every creator painfully experiences the chasm between his inner vision and its ultimate expression. The chasm is never completely bridged. We all have the conviction, perhaps illusory, that we have much more to say than appears on the paper. " Isaac Bashevis Singer
• "Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good." Author Unknown
• "A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." Thomas Mann, Essays of Three Decades, 1947

Then again, this one makes me doubt myself a little: "All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things." Bobby Knight

Of course, if you really really believe in writing, you'll probably disagree with ol' Bob there. And rightly so - we write because we must, not because we desire. But if you're in a slump, or have that damned pesky writer's block, it can be really hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So as a fellow writer, I'd thought I share my tips for getting over writer's block.

1.  Vent - writing style. Do a blog post, send an email, write a diary, type up a document on the computer, anything. Just get it out there. No restraint, just pure emotions (and it'll probably be frustration and doubt, in my experience) - get rid of all the negativity.
2. Stop criticising your own work. Seriously, stop it. It's not as bad as you think, really, and I know you don't believe me. Especially if it's your first draft, don't you dare criticise it. We can talk about ways of approaching your writing later.
3. Think about your lifestyle. Have you been sick? Busy with work or family committments? Sometimes, we just cannot find or make the time, and that's okay. We have lives and demands that we must give into. Don't beat yourself up over that, just accept it. 
4. Tell a friend, particularly if they are an artist. Friends can really be a great source of help in times of dire frustration. You don't have to share your story, just vent to them about it. They might have some great advice that you wouldn't have considered.
5. That said, read your favourite book. What do you like about it? What skills does the author have that you covet? Of course, don't plagiarise, but look into what makes that book so special to you. 
6. Think about why you started writing in the first place. Did you need to get a story out of your brain? Needed to unload your feelings about life, the universe and everything? Wanted to make a point about something? See yourself in different shoes/light? Was it the characters - did you want to build someone up or tear them down? See what makes people tick? Think seriously about what you are putting into your writing. Maybe write it up on a sticky note and put it up somewhere you can see it, for example: "I write because [character] has a story to tell, and I'm the one who knows it" or even as simple as "I write because I can't stop writing".
7. Take a night (or a weekend, or a week) off. Have a bath, go to a museum, play in the park, rent movies. Whatever floats your boat, but don't read. That can make you feel worse sometimes, and you  need to clear your mind of writing. Just relax for a while.

Now, when it comes to your actual novel, things can be a little more straightforward (or difficult).

1. Work out what you don't like, if self-doubt/inferiority complexes are getting you down. Read over your work carefully, but as objectively as you can manage. For example, in my past, I've wanted to have better descriptions. Not more, or necessarily more detailed, but more poetic and interesting. Perhaps you'll need more conversation, or humour, or less waffling and more drive - whatever it is, once you've identified it, you can fix it. For my problem, I read poetry. Why not try renting some movies? Action movies for drive, comedy for humour (obviously) and... well, anything is good for more conversation and less waffling - see what the producers do in their limited time with the actors. See if that inspires you.
2. If it helps, print it out. You might want to wait until you've finished the first draft to do this. Things seem more tangible in print, and you can more clearly identify parts you like and dislike - I've even found a few spelling and grammatical work when I've done this. Use highlighters, pens and sticky notes, and if you annotate/change/cross out/add in, write a little note of why you did that - you might have print in double spaced lines. 
3. If you have a friend who is into your genre of writing (and even one that isn't, if you can rope them into it), ask them to read it. The best way I've found is by email - then they don't feel embarrassed to point our your 'bad' points. Only do this if you are comfortable with honest feedback and sharing your work - you may only want to send them a chapter or two. I've found that people other than myself can point out things in my writing I'd never have noticed. Also, remember that everyone has different opinions, so if they say that your favourite joke in the second page is really lame, ignore them. Someone else might love it.
4. Listen to music to inspire you. Try to set the mood - love songs for romance scenes, rock for fights scenes, etc. If you are really stuck, move away from your story and do the 5 Song Challenge: put your music library in whatever form on shuffle, and then write a story for the first five songs that come on. You are only allowed to write within the time of the song, and you aren't allowed to skip any songs! It's a challange, definitely, but it can be fun (even with friends!). 
5. Look at a picture to describe you. Photography can be excellent inspiration. Try to write a scene for the image, only 200-500 words long. Who is the speaker? What are they feeling, and why? How does the image speak to view, and how can you translate that emotion to your writing for your reader? Again, this can be fun in a group - you can compare each other's stuff.
6. Imagine yourself in your character's shoes for a scene. What do they see/hear/smell/taste/feel and think? Try to engage all five senses, and recreate your scene in as much detail as you can. Use music and images to help you if you need it, though this can be done while trying to get to sleep, in the shower, on your way to school/work or anywhere, really. It's also good to do this right before you start writing, to get into the scene. Instead of writing, just imagine, and that's it.
7. If you're old enough, have a glass of wine to relax before you start. It can help get you in the zone and lessen tension. Only if you're old enough, mind, and by that, I mean legally old enough (I don't want to get in trouble, after all).
8. Give yourself a ten minute break. Play solitaire or mah jongg (my favourites, you'll probably have your own) or check your emails or make a cup of tea. After ten minutes, try again.
9. Relish your victories. You rock for having writing 10,000 words, or 1000, or even 100 - hell, even 1. You rock for that. Celebrate your achievements, and let that push you forwards.

 Alright! So there are my tips. Ranting the other day really make me think about this a lot. I often go through these processes, not all of them, but I try to find ways around my writer's block than just crumbling into a dank despair. As a writer, I really can relate if you're suffering, but all artists do - it's natural, you'll be fine, just try not to worry. There will be days were everything flows like magic, I assure you.

As my final, parting thought, remember this truth by Toni Morrison:

"If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it."

This is Shi, telling you to go and write.

... complaining

Why? Because I can.

And I feel like it.

I'm in a 'down' mood. Not terribly unhappy, but just in one of those moods, where even the things you have can't make you happy, none of your music seems to help and even when concentrating on the important things, you're easily distracted.

I  think part of it is my story. (I mentioned I'm a writer, right?) Well, it just doesn't seem to be doing very well. I wrote the thing for NaNoWriMo last year, which was exhilarating fun, and have since been trying to revise. It's hard for me. I've never finished a story before. And I feel completely out of my depth. I know what the problems were with the original manuscript - namely the storyline had massive gaps but the characters were pretty good. They needed adapting, yes, the whole beginning needed rewriting because it was awful; these things I can, and did, deal with. My problem lies in the fact that it's just not as good as I want it to be. 

Yes, I know, "the artist is always more critical", "it can't be that bad", "it's actually fine", blah blah blah, but actually, it's not fine. I don't know how to fix it and it's bothering me. I used to adore writing, and did it constantly to the point of having that and school and nothing else, but now... I can't seem to get the emotions going like I used to.

I read a blog recently, while searching for inspiration on how to get my writing mo-jo back (I've learnt that feel good quotes do not help), and it basically said: writer's block does not exist.

And I said: bullshit.

Writer's block isn't about not being able to write. Sometimes you can write, it's just that everything you write is shit. Sometimes it's a lack of inspiration, of being exhausted, or feeling self-conscious. Sometimes its just that particular scene you're having trouble with, sometimes it's plot or characters. Sometimes it's even just that you're too busy, and you don't have the time when  you really want to, so when you sit down and try to write, nothing happens.

I wonder which is my problem. I'm in Year 12, so I have so much work to do - endless SACs, tests, notes, and even exams in a few weeks. But I refuse to believe that my muse would desert me in my time of need. I need to write, I have to because it's the one thing I'm good at and usually it makes me feel better, and honestly, there's not much else going on in my life right now to distract me from how hopeless my novel seems.

Do all writers go through this? Even the published ones? I'd like to know, because if not, what the hell is wrong with me and my novel!?

...School is bothering me a bit too, though I feel better now after the long weekend. Last week I had seven SACs. Seven. Two on Monday, one on each of Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and two on Friday. It got to the point where I didn't care, couldn't study and giggled manaically to myself through each one. I know I was away for a week because I had a dreadful flu, but honestly... that week seemed excessively difficult to me.

I guess another thing is money/spending. I don't have a job because study takes up all of my time, but at the moment, I want so many things. Everything from clothes, shoes, wigs, furniture (there were these cute chairs I loved in a shop window), fabric, DVDs, CDs, jewellery, guitars and amps. I want to be able to sew clothes again, and do cosplay - both of which cost a lot of money. However, I don't have any spare money because I'm saving to get extensions.

As a note of importance: I hate saving. Just to clear that up for anyone who was wondering.

And my band! I'm frustrated with that too. Not the people, mind you, but the whole process of writing, composing, practicing and all of that. I'm not very good with music so it's terribly difficult to try to pull everything together. It's taking far too long to feel like going nowhere.

*sigh* I'm starting to feel better. I mentioned that writing did that. I do feel bad for neglecting my blog. I want to stick with it! Just haven't had much interesting to write about. I did get a penguin - crocheted, not a real penguin - he's adorable. There are some photos of him I want to share, I just have to get them off my sister's camera.

This is Shi, having a cathartic rant.